The English Mansion’s
Glossary of Femdom & Kink Terms

The world of kink has many of its own specific terms, many that are now recognized by the mainstream. Lesser known is the realm of Femdom, which has its own hidden erotic language or jargon, this is not so widely understood. So here in this glossary are some familiar kink classics plus some unique femdom argot. Oh and Kinksters do love an acronym!
I’ve found some of terms here difficult to pin down in a short, two line definition. So any thoughts or constructive amendments are welcome in the comments.

100 Femdom & Kink Terms Pt1
The Basics  ~  Scene Cognizance  ~  Femdom

♣  The Basics ♣

BDSM: The infamous initialism, (though what the letters stand for is not agreed upon) so roughly, Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. Together identifying the gamut of kinky practices or role playing power exchange used in alternative sexual relationships.

Dom/sub or D/s: Given roles in a consensually agreed power exchange. A Dominant has all the authority and takes control either on a permanent or temporary basis. A submissive relinquishes all their agency and power in the relationship.

Switch: A person who can assume either the Dom or sub role, depending on their preferences, mood or dynamics of the encounter.

Mistress/slave: A more defined, all encompassing D/s consensual relationship which often denotes a type of  24/7 or TPE relationship. A submissive may retain some rights, whereas a slave becomes, in effect, property. (Slave status does not outweigh the dominant’s obligations to play that is SSC.)

Top/Bottom: Given roles in a scene with no emphasis on power exchange. The Top is the giver, administer of the sensations and architect of the scene. The Bottom is the ‘receiver’ of various sensations in a scene. For example, the Bottom may be a masochist but not a submissive. While a submissive will always be a Bottom.

Topping from the Bottom: 1.) Where a Bottom purports to be a submissive but who nonetheless wants to direct the action. 2.) Where a sub/Bottom acts in a demanding manner, or attempts to manipulate the Dom/Top to have their own needs met, e.g. intentionally misbehaving in order to be punished.

Brat: A sub who is deliberately uncooperative or disobedient in order to elicit attention or punishment.

Sadist: Person who enjoys inflicting pain, usually sexually motivated.

Painslut: aka Masochist, A person who enjoys receiving a heavy degree of pain for sensual/sexual pleasure, may or may not necessarily be a submissive.

Kinkster: A person who enjoys and participates in unconventional sexual practices and preferences, outside of Vanilla (societal) norms. Those who engage in BDSM, fetishism, or other forms of alternative sexual expressions. May be a Dom/sub/switch or just a fetishist with no interest in submission, sadism or masochism.

Vanilla: a) A person who is not involved in the BDSM/fetish/kink lifestyle. b) An adjective for anything not involving kinky activities, for e.g. a vanilla job; vanilla (straight) sex.

Newbie: Someone new to BDSM, not derogatory.

Scene: a) A pre-planned time and space where BDSM activities take place. A scene may occur at a club or some other play space and may or may not include sexual activity. b) ‘The Scene’ is also used by BDSM community to refer to itself.

Dungeon/Chamber: A play space kitted out with elaborate BDSM equipment and toys.

Play Party: A BDSM event with people engaging in couple or group scenes. Play parties can enable Dominas to share subs/slaves or give unattached subs the opportunity to meet/submit to Dominas.

DM: Dungeon Monitor, a person who volunteers to oversee the interactions between participants at a Play Party to ensure their safety.

Munch: A group of people that practice BDSM, meeting up to chat at a Vanilla venue in street-appropriate attire.

Bunny: Someone who bottoms for a demo at a fetish event, for e.g. a rope bunny, wax bunny or bondage bunny.

♣ Scene Cognizance ♣

Negotiation: A conversation usually in advance of the scene where the parties agree limits, preferences, safewords; and discuss fantasies, experiences, medical issues etc.

Safeword: A word serving as a prearranged and unambiguous signal to end a BDSM scene or scene activity. Always respected. “Red” is often considered as a universal safe word. Some players like a comical word in order to break-out from an intense role play, e.g. “Pineapple”. Or a series of Safewords, i.e. “Green” everything is OK; “Amber” getting close to their limit; “Red” stop immediately.

Hard Limit: An activity or context for an activity that is considered completely off-limits. Established in the pre-scene play Negotiation.

Soft Limit: An activity or context for an activity that one party is hesitant about or nervous to try but will enter into. Established in the pre-scene play Negotiation.

Subspace: The natural endorphin high a sub/bottom may experience during an intense physical, psychological and/or emotional scene.

Subdrop: An emotional and physical low, experienced by a sub/bottom after an intense scene. It begins anywhere from a few hours to a few days after the endorphin high and can last for hours or days.

Aftercare: Set period after a scene where the Top/Dominant makes sure their play partner is OK and takes extra care with their well being. This may involve cuddles, reassurance, sugary drinks/snacks, a rest period. Can be an important step in mitigating the potential for Subdrop.

CNC/Consensual Non-Consent: A mutual agreement that within defined limits, and subject to a Safeword, consent to activities is given without foreknowledge of them. For ex. a capture fantasy scene or Turned Bi play.

SSC/Safe, Sane and Consensual: A guideline used by some in the BDSM community which emphasises ensuring that activities are safe and sane. That all participants have capacity to give consent and that that explicit consent is obtained from all parties involved. Slightly different from RACK/Risk Aware Consensual Kink: which emphasizes informed risk-taking over predetermined notions of safety.

♣ Femdom ♣

Femdom: The abbreviation of Female Domination. A relationship/dynamic/ scene play whereby the female is in a position of power and superiority over the male.

Dominatrix: A woman who physically and/or psychologically dominates her partner within a BDSM scene or relationship. Ordinarily uses one of the honorifics: Mistress, Lady, Domina, Madame, Princess or Goddess.

Prodom/ProDomme: A Professional Dominatrix (female).

Session: An agreed time period of play with a Prodom.

Domme/Dom/Domina: Woman who exercises control over men (& some submissive women.)

High-Protocol: When there is a strict and formal enactment of roles for both the sub and Domme alongside understood conventions, strict rules and etiquette.

Linguistic High-Protocol: A written form of high-protocol used as a way of denoting your Domme or sub status, usually found online. All references to a Mistress are capitalised, while slaves use all lower-case pronouns, e.g.
“i am Your slave, Ma’am”.

Service: Acts, chores, errands or labour, sexual or otherwise performed by a sub for the benefit of a Domme.

24/7 or TPE/Total Power Exchange: A D/s relationship in which set rules and protocols are in place continuously (negotiated in advance).

Slave Contract: A written agreement between a Mistress and her slave (not legally binding), outlining the slave’s service to their Mistress. Including rules, obligations, protocols, duties, punishments for any breeches, period of servitude etc. These must be strictly adhered to or the relationship may be terminated.

Slave Auction: Where a Domme auctions off Her slave to other Dommes/participants (usually at a Play Party, for temporary use and not for monetary gain). Slave auctions reinforce a slave’s position as property and absence of power.

FLR/ Female Led Relationship: An intimate relationship where the female partner has control over the male i.e. a femdom relationship, usually within a domestic setting, typically a marriage or committed girlfriend/boyfriend. Ranging from only affecting certain facets e.g. in the bedroom or decision making; to total command over all aspects of the partnership.

Collared sub/ Collaring: The formal acceptance by a dominant of a slave’s service to them or their ‘ownership’ by a Mistress. A domme may have multiple collared slaves. The collaring may last for a few hours or a number of years. Can be accompanied by a ceremony, usually comes before the signing of a slave contract.

Collar: The physical proclamation of Collaring. A slave should wear their collar with pride at all times in the presence of their Domme. Collars may range from leather chokers to elaborate iron bands fastened by buckles or locked in place by his proprietrix. Where it is inappropriate for a Collared sub to wear his collar in a vanilla place, a Domme may require the slave to wear an alternative discrete symbol to remind the slave or his ownership. For example, a gold chain.

MILF: Slang for ‘Mature (or Mother) I’d Like to Fuck’, denoting an attractive older woman. Similar to Cougar but Cougar also implies a sexually aggressive older/mature woman.

100 Femdom & Kink Terms Pt2:
Orgasm Control ~ Scene Dynamics ~ Play Activities ~ Kinks & Fetishes